I am always striving to become a better mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend etc. and I believe the only way you can become better is by giving back to yourself. Being a mom can really prohibit giving time to yourself if you let it. As mothers, we do SO much for our kids, partners, friends, family and business that there is just very little energy left to give to YOU (who really is the most important person in your life). Although you might say, WOW, that is a totally selfish statement, I believe it is true. If you don’t make yourself important and find the time to give back to yourself, everything else will slip and fade as time goes on. I believe when we are at our best, we can do all the tasks and to do’s at our best.
Two things I have found recently that are helping me do this:
- A Minute for Me by Megan McDonough: This book is AMAZING…. life changing really. First, the author has organized the book that you can get through each chapter and lesson in a minute. LITERALLY. BEST book for moms because you can make the time for a minute, whether you are on the potty (you know that is one of the only times you read!) or just before bed, a minute can be achieved. The book is by a mom who shares her personal short stories that will help you on your quest of looking inside yourself and then at the end of the short story she has 60 second exercises to build self-awareness. I highly recommend this book! You can check it out in our aStore under books on pg 6 or click the link above.
- Looking at things in a different perspective: We all know how hard we can be on ourselves as moms and regardless of how hard we try, we are constantly telling ourselves all the things we have done wrong throughout the day. One thing I realized is that ever since getting preggers with baby #2, I was looking at all the ways Cody would get shafted in comparison to all the things he got as being the only child. I was worried that the one on one time, the outings and learning activities, to name a few, that we did would be so few and far between that he would be missing out. Then I worried that Grayson wouldn’t get all the time with me like his big brother did. THEN, I had a light bulb moment…..I started looking at it all in a different perspective. Cody was getting a brother, a lifelong friend, who he will be forever bonded with and share so many special memories with. I have found time to do all the things we use to do and I realized that even though I have less time now, I just carve out those special moments just for him. ie. We have those bath letters in the shower so when I am taking a shower I throw out a letter (over the door) and Cody has to try to catch it and name the letter. I am getting a shower, he is playing a game and learning at the same time. I just had to get more creative! And then I realized I get plenty of time with Grayson and he LOVES having a brother. It amazes me everyday how much he loves and adores him and really responds to him. All in all, I think you need to give yourself 5 minutes at the end of the day to remember and focus on WHAT YOU DID RIGHT that day. You could even keep a journal and write down all the things you did positive that day and then look at it over the weeks and pat yourself on the back . It really is a way of thinking and you will be surprised at how quickly you will start noticing more of the great things you do throughout the day and less of the stuff you beat yourself up over.
We are beautiful, wonderful, caring and loving mamas and we need to tell
ourselves and each other that every day!!! How do you give back to you???